The sand blew fiercely across the beach as Mrs. McPineapple reached the bottom step of the stairs she’d been sweeping. She was very out of breath and tired because she lived in a lighthouse and had to sweep 143 steps. The problem was that Mr. McPineapple had a very bad habit of leaving the door open when he went out. He didn’t do it on purpose; he was just very absent-minded. But the wind that nearly always blew across the beach blew straight into the open lighthouse door covering most of the steps in fine golden sand, which, Mrs. McPineapple hated. So she sweated and swore and mumbled and moaned and grumbled and grunted as she swept the steps. Slamming the door when she finished.
❋
Mr. McPineapple walked with his head down, thinking. He was thinking so hard that he was completely unaware of his surroundings. The sea crashed upon the shore and seagulls wheeled in the sky crying loudly in their strange Sea Gull language. Duncan, Mr. McPineapple’s Dog sniffed at the briny air with a knowing look upon his face. Like a wine connoisseur with his nose in a glass of vintage wine. He knew that there was trouble in the air. He could smell it. Mr. McPineapple was one of those rare people who actually understood Sea Gull. He understood and could converse in many strange languages. He was a very clever man. He was not only the keeper of St Ockwell Point Lighthouse but he was also a Wizard. However today he didn’t listen to what the Gulls were telling him because he was so deep in thought. He had lost his book of spells and couldn’t find it anywhere.
“Where on Earth could I have put it?” He said aloud. “I’m completely lost without it”
“Woof” said Duncan.
“Yes I know Duncan, I’m very aware of what would happen if it fell into the wrongs hands”
“Woof” said Duncan.
“No, I don’t think it’s in the fridge”
“Woof” said Duncan shrugging his shoulders in a sort of doggy way. Mr. McPineapple walked on across the sand and as he did so he thumped his forehead with his fist saying “Think, Think, Think”
❋
Mrs. McPineapple put her broom away in the cupboard on the landing, well, the cupboard on one of the landings as there were lots of landings in St Ockwell point Lighthouse, and decided to have a cup of tea. She went into the kitchen, picked up the kettle and put the spout under the tap. She turned the tap and the pipes started to make the usual banging and gurgling noises all around the kitchen before the water came out. As she waited Mrs. McPineapple noticed that a piece of toast was lying at the bottom of the kettle.
“What on earth is that doing there?” She said and pulled it out. She filled the kettle and put it on the cooker. Then she picked up the teapot, opened the lid, and to her surprise found a sock and an old shrivelled up conker inside. She took them out of the Teapot, holding the sock very carefully as it looked rather dirty with a hole at the end and reached up to the shelf to get the tea caddy. She opened the lid and found a pair of Mr. McPineapple’s Spectacles half buried in the tealeaves.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” She muttered to herself. “What is wrong with him? He gets more and more stupid every day!” She then went to the larder to get herself a nice Chocolate Digestive biscuit, which she thought she deserved. She opened the door and immediately ten of Mr. McPineapple’s heaviest books fell off the top shelf and hit Mrs. McPineapple on the head one after the other followed by small glass paper weight shaped like a snail and three bottles of different coloured ink. Mrs. McPineapple felt extremely angry, then extremely dizzy and then slumped into an extremely floppy heap on the floor.
❋
The wind started to blow harder making the crabs hide under rocks and the waves began to crash onto the beach with even more noise and foam. The Seagulls wheeled much higher in the sky and puffy white clouds rushed in from the sea in a great hurry.
‘Helloooo, Mr. McPineapple how are yooooo?’ They said as they sailed past. Mr. McPineapple who normally liked to talk to the clouds didn’t hear them because he was too deep in thought. One of the clouds, a small one that looked like a piece of cauliflower called down to Mr. McPineapple in the strange wild language that clouds use
‘Be careful Mr. McPineapple there’s a storm coming’. But you have to listen very carefully to hear clouds and unfortunately his attention was drawn to a pain in his foot when he tripped over a large round lump lying in the sand.
“Ouch!” He said and sat down to rub his foot. He took off his shoe and noticed that he had no sock on. He looked at his other foot, which did have a sock on.
“Strange” He said, “I wonder where my sock is?”
Meanwhile, Duncan was sniffing the large lump suspiciously. Mr. McPineapple put his shoe back on, got up and started to walk back to the lighthouse.
“Better go and see if Mrs. McPineapple knows what I‘ve done with my book I suppose”
The lump grew four legs and followed Mr. McPineapple and Duncan back to the lighthouse.
To be continued...
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